Evil Twin TheoryWednesday, June 18, 2003
Nutrias part 2
Man. Stupid freaking nutria(or whatever) took out two of my from-seed tomato plants. They were four feet tall and putting on fruit and the stupid thing chewed through their stalk at more or less ground level thereby killing them. It could'nt carry them off or anything because they are by this time thoughly entanlgled in thier cages, but it did kill them. I had a fence of sorts up ( really a lentgh of chickenwire propped up against the cinder block border) but it got through it. No great trick becuase the fence only goes halfway around the plot. The other half of the plot is protected by a earth bank so I figured that my plants would be relatively safe this year. Not so. I'm gonna install a more elaborate security system this weekend (assuming I'm over the heart ache associated with losing the plants I raised up from nothing), until then I propped this old door against the cindder blocks to extend the fence a bit. I think this blocks the nutria's point of entry. I am of the opinion that this was merely a crime of convenience for the beast and once it is faced with a significant obstacle it will turn back from my garden and go after easier prey, like weeds.
Plan B is to purchase a pellet gun. I'm not sure I have the heart to kill even a lowly and dispicable varmint, but I'm sure going to try. I'll just keep those poor tomatoes plants in my mind as I take careful aim, hold my breath , and gently squeeze the trigger . . .
Man. Stupid freaking nutria(or whatever) took out two of my from-seed tomato plants. They were four feet tall and putting on fruit and the stupid thing chewed through their stalk at more or less ground level thereby killing them. It could'nt carry them off or anything because they are by this time thoughly entanlgled in thier cages, but it did kill them. I had a fence of sorts up ( really a lentgh of chickenwire propped up against the cinder block border) but it got through it. No great trick becuase the fence only goes halfway around the plot. The other half of the plot is protected by a earth bank so I figured that my plants would be relatively safe this year. Not so. I'm gonna install a more elaborate security system this weekend (assuming I'm over the heart ache associated with losing the plants I raised up from nothing), until then I propped this old door against the cindder blocks to extend the fence a bit. I think this blocks the nutria's point of entry. I am of the opinion that this was merely a crime of convenience for the beast and once it is faced with a significant obstacle it will turn back from my garden and go after easier prey, like weeds.
Plan B is to purchase a pellet gun. I'm not sure I have the heart to kill even a lowly and dispicable varmint, but I'm sure going to try. I'll just keep those poor tomatoes plants in my mind as I take careful aim, hold my breath , and gently squeeze the trigger . . .
Thursday, June 12, 2003
The Crush
I admit it. I have a crush on someone.
First of all I should say that I'm far, far out of the age group where most people assume crushes will occur. I left high school, and Amy Blett, behind ages ago. Second, I'm not some kind of social misfit who has not had any intimate experiences and consequently had his emotional growth stunted to the point that we arrive at this unhappy impasse. Namely having a crush at my age.
I am actually a mature, conventionally attractive, educated, socially and intellectually active man of middle age. I have been involved in my share of relationships I have fallen in and out of love enough times to be able to make generalizations about the process and to become something of a font of wisdom in all matter relating to relationships between couples. So, you can't just discount my feelings as inexperience or perversion.
I'm also not experiencing a mid life crisis I don't think. I would associate such a crisis with some realization that you do have 'it' anymore, so you buy a little red sports car as a substitute. Rest assured gentle readers I still have 'it.' I take it out and polish it. I let it go out and get its exercise. Occasionally, I even flaunt it (and we all know if you don't have it you can't very well flaunt it). So, I'm not just some sort of lamer outcast who has fastened his diseased attention on some sweet morsel. What I have is not lust ( though I have some of that), nor love (I know what love feels like and I also know that it is a process not a feeling) , or even pure admiration for a finely realized variation on the theme of feminie beauty. What I have is a crush and in the worst way
Crushes, as you may remember, are very disconcerting. First of all I don't really have control over my feelings for this women. I find myself thinking about her constantly. I have to stop myslf from making excuses to talk to her, I try not to chat her up any more ( or less, God help me) then anyone else I work with. But I still feel nervous jerky and occasionally silly around her. I have these mood swings where I feel really happy to know her and feel fortunate to be on friendly terms and then, five minutes later I'm in the pits of lamentation where there is nothing to do but lament the impossible nature of our situation and my terrible luck at ending up in it. I do have some sense of perspective. I realize that none of these feeling are very rational or productive and, were I to discuss it with a shrink at some length I feel confident that they might tell me I have a 'healthy and pragmatic' out look on the situation. But still . . . I have a crush.
She isn't really helping. She has started to wear outfits to work. She doesn't have any problem calling me umpteen times a day and she wants to collaborate with me on a host of projects that while interesting and worthwhile are bound to end up somewhere I'm trying not to go. I really think she has a crush on me too. I can tell becuase anything and everytnig I say to her makes her giggle. Normally I would find this annoying in the extreme. In general people who laugh at everything I say either don't have a very good sense of humor so they laugh tocover it up or else, they have not been exposed to extremely repartee of the kind I am capable of dispensing at any given moment ffor as long as time allows. Either way these people annoy me. My crushee isn't one of those people. She is funny all on her own and I don't think my comedy stylings overwhelm her. I think my presence simply makes her giggle like a school girl
all of this would be grand. It is Spring. We are both mature intelligent consenting adults. The only little tiny problem is that I love my girlfriend of seven years and am quite happy with our life and our home. I have no interest in hurting my GF. I'd like to keep her. I don't want to be a lying cheating near adulterer. Also, my crushee has a boyfriend of some kind, actually the father of her child. She seems to be pretty wrapped up in him in most ways except, she stopped mentioning him about a week after she started working here. Neither of us mention the others significant others. This is a sure sign that trouble is brewing.
So that's that. I have a crush. It hurts. It makes me feel like crap mostly and all I want to do is grab my crushee, wrap my . . . arms around her and begin some kind of long passionate descent into . . . Who knows what. This can't end well. Maybe it won't last. Maybe it's like a craving for a particular kind of food. it will just fade away after a while. I sure hope so. Because otherwise I feel a confession coming on ( no not to my GF). How will the crushee react?
I predict she will be embarrassed at first ("I’m sorry I don’t know how to tell you any other way"). Then, she'll think I’m teasing her ( "I am not kidding"). Then she might get a bit offended. In the end I think she'll confess her crush too and we'll have to deal with it. No matter what though, someone (at least two someones actually) is/are going to get hurt and worse yet, one of them is defintiely going to be me. I've never yet escaped any intimate relationship unscathed.
I wonder if I can get some of the testosterone removed from my blood stream before anything bads happens.I wonder if that would avert this train wreck. Crushes after al are very primitive feelings arising ( pun intended) from very base emotions. My crushee probably just happens to be a good breeder and she is, like most good breeders, emitting pheromones (through no fault of her own) at an alarming ( to me) rate. Her (cute) little pheromone factory is probably working overtime too , since I think she has a crush on me too and mother nature helpful as she is as far a the breeding process is concerned has probly kicked my crushees pheromone production into high gear so she will have Saide Hawkins best chance of catching a man. Anyway all of tihs psychoactive cloud that surrounds my crushee and I causes me to involuntarily start my courting behavior. This in turn eggs her pheromone factory on to more furious production . . . and on and on and on and on. So, I strut around displaying my social and physical prowess and do everything short of ripping off my shirt and screaming 'I'm a breeder too" I wonder if she'd like that? I wonder if a lobotomy would fix me? I wonder if crushes really aren't age dependant? I wonder if anyone will read this and think, “my, what a dirty old man” I wonder if anyone will read this period.
Maybe I should anonymously forward this url to her . . . I wonder if a gas mask would block pheromones
Please help
I admit it. I have a crush on someone.
First of all I should say that I'm far, far out of the age group where most people assume crushes will occur. I left high school, and Amy Blett, behind ages ago. Second, I'm not some kind of social misfit who has not had any intimate experiences and consequently had his emotional growth stunted to the point that we arrive at this unhappy impasse. Namely having a crush at my age.
I am actually a mature, conventionally attractive, educated, socially and intellectually active man of middle age. I have been involved in my share of relationships I have fallen in and out of love enough times to be able to make generalizations about the process and to become something of a font of wisdom in all matter relating to relationships between couples. So, you can't just discount my feelings as inexperience or perversion.
I'm also not experiencing a mid life crisis I don't think. I would associate such a crisis with some realization that you do have 'it' anymore, so you buy a little red sports car as a substitute. Rest assured gentle readers I still have 'it.' I take it out and polish it. I let it go out and get its exercise. Occasionally, I even flaunt it (and we all know if you don't have it you can't very well flaunt it). So, I'm not just some sort of lamer outcast who has fastened his diseased attention on some sweet morsel. What I have is not lust ( though I have some of that), nor love (I know what love feels like and I also know that it is a process not a feeling) , or even pure admiration for a finely realized variation on the theme of feminie beauty. What I have is a crush and in the worst way
Crushes, as you may remember, are very disconcerting. First of all I don't really have control over my feelings for this women. I find myself thinking about her constantly. I have to stop myslf from making excuses to talk to her, I try not to chat her up any more ( or less, God help me) then anyone else I work with. But I still feel nervous jerky and occasionally silly around her. I have these mood swings where I feel really happy to know her and feel fortunate to be on friendly terms and then, five minutes later I'm in the pits of lamentation where there is nothing to do but lament the impossible nature of our situation and my terrible luck at ending up in it. I do have some sense of perspective. I realize that none of these feeling are very rational or productive and, were I to discuss it with a shrink at some length I feel confident that they might tell me I have a 'healthy and pragmatic' out look on the situation. But still . . . I have a crush.
She isn't really helping. She has started to wear outfits to work. She doesn't have any problem calling me umpteen times a day and she wants to collaborate with me on a host of projects that while interesting and worthwhile are bound to end up somewhere I'm trying not to go. I really think she has a crush on me too. I can tell becuase anything and everytnig I say to her makes her giggle. Normally I would find this annoying in the extreme. In general people who laugh at everything I say either don't have a very good sense of humor so they laugh tocover it up or else, they have not been exposed to extremely repartee of the kind I am capable of dispensing at any given moment ffor as long as time allows. Either way these people annoy me. My crushee isn't one of those people. She is funny all on her own and I don't think my comedy stylings overwhelm her. I think my presence simply makes her giggle like a school girl
all of this would be grand. It is Spring. We are both mature intelligent consenting adults. The only little tiny problem is that I love my girlfriend of seven years and am quite happy with our life and our home. I have no interest in hurting my GF. I'd like to keep her. I don't want to be a lying cheating near adulterer. Also, my crushee has a boyfriend of some kind, actually the father of her child. She seems to be pretty wrapped up in him in most ways except, she stopped mentioning him about a week after she started working here. Neither of us mention the others significant others. This is a sure sign that trouble is brewing.
So that's that. I have a crush. It hurts. It makes me feel like crap mostly and all I want to do is grab my crushee, wrap my . . . arms around her and begin some kind of long passionate descent into . . . Who knows what. This can't end well. Maybe it won't last. Maybe it's like a craving for a particular kind of food. it will just fade away after a while. I sure hope so. Because otherwise I feel a confession coming on ( no not to my GF). How will the crushee react?
I predict she will be embarrassed at first ("I’m sorry I don’t know how to tell you any other way"). Then, she'll think I’m teasing her ( "I am not kidding"). Then she might get a bit offended. In the end I think she'll confess her crush too and we'll have to deal with it. No matter what though, someone (at least two someones actually) is/are going to get hurt and worse yet, one of them is defintiely going to be me. I've never yet escaped any intimate relationship unscathed.
I wonder if I can get some of the testosterone removed from my blood stream before anything bads happens.I wonder if that would avert this train wreck. Crushes after al are very primitive feelings arising ( pun intended) from very base emotions. My crushee probably just happens to be a good breeder and she is, like most good breeders, emitting pheromones (through no fault of her own) at an alarming ( to me) rate. Her (cute) little pheromone factory is probably working overtime too , since I think she has a crush on me too and mother nature helpful as she is as far a the breeding process is concerned has probly kicked my crushees pheromone production into high gear so she will have Saide Hawkins best chance of catching a man. Anyway all of tihs psychoactive cloud that surrounds my crushee and I causes me to involuntarily start my courting behavior. This in turn eggs her pheromone factory on to more furious production . . . and on and on and on and on. So, I strut around displaying my social and physical prowess and do everything short of ripping off my shirt and screaming 'I'm a breeder too" I wonder if she'd like that? I wonder if a lobotomy would fix me? I wonder if crushes really aren't age dependant? I wonder if anyone will read this and think, “my, what a dirty old man” I wonder if anyone will read this period.
Maybe I should anonymously forward this url to her . . . I wonder if a gas mask would block pheromones
Please help
